I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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