from now on my penis is your penis
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
