Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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