put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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