Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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