Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
