is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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