Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
