If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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