..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
