You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
