Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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