So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
