Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize