so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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