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nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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