There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Why can't burritos get me drunk
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
