2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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