Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
