you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
