You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
