I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
