But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
