Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
