First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
