So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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