There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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