I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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