You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Boobs speak an international language.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
