I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
