On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
