do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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