Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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