great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize