The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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