dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
