mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you traded sex for a burrito?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize