I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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