Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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