He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
