I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
