I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
be right there i have to get my cape
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
