I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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