i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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