Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
