just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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