I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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