im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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