guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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