I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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