umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
