I think my vagina is haunted
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize