Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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