Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
