Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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