I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
