So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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