i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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