i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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