69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
